Before any problem can be seen first you have to know what is going on around you the people and the environment. Socialization is what is happening to you, your family, and everyone in the world as a society. What is it? Socialization is “the process by which you learn how to become a function member of society.” (conley, Socilaization and the construction of reality) Now the problem with this is when a child is socialized it conforms to those ideas it does not start to form their own ideas which later causes negativity in life. Molding the child into what society thinks a young lady or gentleman should acts puts standards on what is normal and not normal behavior that could led a child into isolation.  Another problem we as a society do to our children is provide set examples of their roles of their gender a text book definition is” set of behavioral norms assumed to accompany one’s status as male or female.” (conley, Socilaization and the construction of reality) Straight out of the womb the process begins where if the baby is a girl pink bows and clothing is to be worn or if the child is a boy to put him on blue. From there the challenge begins where the need of raising the baby in ways known it would fit into the community. The thing that would hit all communities is hearing about a young child committing suicide because because they were bullied, and did not fit in with the other children.  That is something we as whole taught children, being out of the normal is life threating when it should not be.  What occurs during these teaching is when you are born a little girl and you identify as a little girl they are delicate, and do not get anger. “She is interested in sports, fells bond to wash the dishes, sweats less, like cooking, and has more friends.” (D. Conley) From these little examples all do not fall under this umbrella and for the ones that do not it makes them fell less of a woman. While on the other hand boys would feel less of men when their “athletic ability, coolness, and toughness” (adler, kless and adler) does not hit the “average” mark of guys. These are things that have to stop; parents trying to make their children into spectral children by ability and not because they are your child.  From the time children are able to understand what their parents are saying they are grooming them to become citizens and teaching them the standards while the parents also tell their children to be themselves. There is a study done on elementary school children from two school and have a fifth teen year age span. What they found was the normal for the children and what the other child tried to mimic their behavior was” the children liked by most of the peers, who are the most influential in group opinions and who have the greatest impact.” (adler, kless and adler)Gender roles for young ones with siblings of both genders are the ones most affected. In 1997 there was a study done on house hold chores which as taught to us years ago the females were the ones to complete these. They were to complete these chores with little to no help from their brothers and husbands because “it is a women’s place in the home.” (healy and Malhotra) As the study was conducted they found that it was similar to the results when asked to husbands that women would have more chores than the males in the house. “Children’s attitudes become aligned with their parents.” (healy and Malhotra)  Parents are usually the ones to assign chores thinking they would assign chores according to age but the parents unconsciously assigns by gender most of the time. Taking a step back from this with a blank mind when thinking about someone washing a car, or mowing the lawn, who do is thought about a male doing these chores. Or, if the chores was to wash dishes, or even the sweep the floor a female is thought about to complete these.  Seeing anyone else other than the most common gender to complete the task above would look very odd. This does not mean it is wrong just we as a society has been stuck in our ways we do not want to change them because it would cause us to feel uncomfortable.  Once we feel uncomfortable we overcorrect and cause more problems than we had before. Always, it is about someone not acting their roles or someone not acting their gender. Some examples are males wearing dresses or females cutting their hair down or even off with men clothing on. “The parent–child relationship, the earliest and certainly one of the most important relationships that individuals develop, is considered to be a major predictor of outcomes in many child develop.” (Martin, England and Zosuls) Without good relationships or just having someone the child can trust is better for them and is needed to be established early in the child’s years of growing. As Erikson’s stages of development goes “the child as an infant establishes trust vs. mistrust where the child can depend on the care taker or not usually the mother.” (cherry and Gans MD) Without a stable foundation the child would fall though to become one of the children that picks with the others because they are themselves. In consequence the child that is being picked on is now a victim and may try to harm themselves, or another child. When we as parents teach our children the rules, and unspoken laws in society as a whole what is accepted and expected of them. For the children to have a chance to succeed and to be “normal;” we leave the part out about size and weight for children. We leave the part that it is okay all sizes of people it is just nature; that no one weighs too much or not enough unless it affects your living a happy life.  By not teaching them as early as can be the online ad and article, the television showing it is best to be a small size. The “size 4 or 6 is normal” (Mernissi) this is more diverted to females just by this statement only causes chaos. Chaos as to be a normal woman and get a husband you need to be this size; which makes women start diets and start to exercise. Saying that the size to be is a 4 or 6 if you have family little bigger than that it is hard to get or maintain that size. Also, it puts women self-esteems down in the mud and gutter so they start to feel unbeautiful to where they are worth nothing. From this state it can be dangerous this is how women get into unhealthy relationships and even abuse relationships because they have low self-worth. Seeing big figure stars get on plans like weight watchers does not set examples for thee youth it tells them that we have to conform to every single rule of society not through hard work and ownership of yourself. Things like this are the reason we need to stop putting ads up, stop treating our children different and stop defining what is normal. Because without defining or putting ads out our world would have more love in it. Without being completely harsh on people that may stray from the pack and now and then or being harsh on the ones that want to start a pack or their own more people would feel safe. More people would feel like they belong and that they have more things in common because before they were afraid they would be bullied if they said anything.   Some solutions to solving the differences and stop gender rolling our children is “to show love for the sons as they do the daughters” (Khan and sajjad) Showing love increases the chances of the children once they grow older they would be able to have better communication and be able to show their feeling better. Showing love in early child life would teach they it okay for older to show love to. Also, “parents should use the same disciplinary actions for all of your children females and males,” to show the children to expect to be treated equal no matter what. Knowing what gender roles examples we put on the men and women we could help stop that robot circle of life. We can add creativity to the world by accepting the other child came from the same parents but likes this instead of going with the rest of the family and what they like. Parents as examples and role models to their children should stop allowing the restrictions on their children and how they grow up and how their children live. Parents should stop saying negative things towards their children because they are not in the loop of normal; and parents should stop the “do not do this or you might not find a husband” or the” boy get up and stop crying there is nothing wrong with you.” Let the little boys cry and let the little girls slouch when they sit and let’s see what that generation of children does to the world. From the beginning of birth as the children are growing up treat them as equals. Treating the children equal now instills that no one is any better than they are; also it helps them to understand being different from the other children is alright. It shows them never harm another child because they are different and just to show love for everyone. Love will guide you through all storms, and all the hard times this world has to offer. Fighting as one can never be broken as compared to fighting separate will always lose to battles.  Teaching the unspoken rules should be wrote someone but not taught to a generation or two and see how the world turns but do teach them the no killing, or stealing rules of that sort so we are able to see how it all turns out. 


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