What is Love?
Your heart’s hammering, you’re glowing with excitement and
giddy with anticipation. You can’t focus on your work as you’re eagerly waiting
for a message from them. You’ve got no appetite because nothing tastes as good
when you’re not with them. No one else understands you like they do as your connection
with them is supernatural. You hate being away from them and when you’re with
them you don’t want it to end. He’s become part of the family. The missing
jigsaw piece in all of our lives. There are incredible highs and lows and as
you go through the motions you realise you wouldn’t change it for the world. But,
when they forget to call you get anxious. They are in a wicked mood and you feel
guilty as if it’s your fault. Heaven forbid if they express that they have
doubts about the relationship. Despite the occasional uncertainty, the overpowering
emotions you feel towards that other human is something money cannot buy.
So what is real love?
We live within an immense cultural misconception about the concept
of real love. It’s heightened by the media from the moment you’re born as you’re
overwhelmed with the idea that love is a sure feeling and that you’ll know when
you’ve found “the one”. When the honeymoon phase ends, your true feelings come
out as the love you were overwhelmed by fades and the work of real love begins.
This is the stage where people give up. They walk away because most people take
the weakened feelings as a sign that they made a mistake. So they start over
and the never ending cycle of loving and losing goes on again and again.
Is love not a feeling? Love is knowing the ins, outs, flaws
and traits and showing them that you love them regardless. Love is giving. Love
is receiving. Love is tedious as you wade through the rough parts of a
relationship without climbing on board another’s boat when the waves get rough.
Love is recognizing that you need to fulfil yourself as your partner can’t
always make you feel alive and complete. It’s not a job that they have to work
at. And as soon as you learn to become the source of your own happiness, you
become eligible to put that love into another human being.
The good news is: when the original fascination feeling
fades, the real work of learning how to love and be loved begins. Then something
infinitely richer and nourishing comes out of the relationship as you work
together to build your own happiness and accomplishments. Over time, the flower
that is your relationship grow roots that can’t be broken. You are the soil
that constantly works to keep the flower alive as you pull out the feelings of
frustration and impatience so the flower can stay strong. It doesn’t happen
overnight. Flowers take love and affection over long periods of time until they
stem into something to be proud of. This fantasy is what our culture propagates
as it throws new couples into turmoil as their relationship falls at the first
hurdle and they can’t get back up.
Young people need to be educated on the
difference between love and infatuation. True, real, overbearing love is felt
as you both know that you’re in it for the long run. Your partner is a source
of support and comfort that is there to make you accept all of your flaws and
make you be the best version of yourself. The younger generation need to
understand that love is a final result of hard work and failure that comes
after so many falls. If we’re going to restore relationships to a place of
honour and respect, we must teach that the role of one’s partner is not to save
you from yourself and make you feel alive, fulfilled, and complete; only you
can do that. It’s time to teach a different message. So, when you see your partner through the eyes
of real love, you’ll know that while your partner may not always make you
happy, you love them nonetheless. That’s when you know you’ve arrived at the
destination of true love.