When a relationship of some lengthends, it feels like death. Except it feels worse than death because the personyou no longer love but you still loveis living—but the relationship itself is dead.
There are no words to magically take away the hurt or the sadnessor the pain of this brutal ending: the ending of a love. A break-up brings muchpain, but pain is temporary because of the various ways to nurse your woundsand carry on. Cope with your feelings and don’t fight them, talk it out withyour family or close friends, list the advantages of being single, and most importantlydon’t lose faith in another relationship.
Abreak-up is always accompanied with an immense variety of powerful andemotional feelings including anger, confusion, sadness, jealousy and regret.And if you bury all your feelings inside your mind you will only prolong thegrieving process, which might lead to a complete mental breakdown down theroad. Healthy coping is when identity these intense emotions and let yourselfactually experience and let them out. The sooner you let it all out, the betterand quicker the grieving process will be. Grieving typically includes:depression, denial, negotiating and hopefully at the end of it all, acceptance.
Acceptance is the moment the moment you are finally able to move on from yourloss. In order to survive a break-up, you must swallow the bitterness ofreality. Cliché as it may sound but reality does truly bite hard, and leave aheavy mark. It’s now all up to you to take that scar as a lesson and not as apunishment. Give yourself plenty of time to heal, and remember that only timewill heal all your wounds. Put away the pictures and the gifts that remind youof your former companion because a part of loving is learning to let go. Resistthe temptations to call or message your ex to get together because reboundrelationships are always an ugly mistake. Keep yourself busy doing anythingthat makes you feel good about yourself.
Thereafter,it was highly recommended to openly talk about your feelings. You can talkabout your feelings regarding your break-up with anyone you can trust, love,and respect. By simply talking to a family member or a friend, you can come tonew and better perceptions and even find a cure to your internal pain.
Holdingthose negative feelings within you just never is the solution, no matter whatthe circumstance is. Expressing and discussing these emotions not only takesthe load off your chest, you can potentially discover that what you are goingon is actually very common and many have gone through the similar situation andsurvived perfectly fine, happier than ever. Don’t isolate yourself, especiallywhen you feel hopeless. Talkingto your friends or loved one also keeps your mind off your past relationshipand instead boost your other relations. Make a plan to go out with your friends,whether it is a plan to grab dinner, going bowling, or any other way you loveto spend pleasurable time. It’ll make you realize being single isn’t bad afterall and actually gives you the opportunity to do whatever you like, whenever youlike and not dwell on the past. Inaddition to discussing your feelings, you should also consider listing all the advantagesof being single.
Start by getting comfortable in your own private space, sitdown, and simply close your eyes and take a deep breath. Loosen your body andsoothe your mind, and grab a piece of paper and something to write with. Soonafter, just start to jot down the benefits of being single. As silly as thismay sound, writing down these pros will actually stimulate positivity to yournegatively affected mood.
Just to get you started, here a few reasons to remindyou the blessings being single gives: you can have the whole bed to yourself; youcan be as messy as you want without any criticism; you will have much moreindividual freedom; you will have more control over your daily routines and nolonger have to negotiating and compromise around them. But most importantly, itis essential to understand that now you are capable to out your own needs firstand don’t have to please anyone else. This step in surviving a break-up mayseem unnecessary, but by writing out the advantages of being single gives you avisual of the endless reasons to not feel any remorse over one unsuccessful relationship.Thefinal and most important stage in overcoming a break-up is to come to anunderstanding to not lose any faith in another relationship. The first step, isto rid that belief that all relationships are untrustworthy, a waste of time,and just simply a bad idea. Generalizing from one faulty relationship is theworst way to get back up from a heart break.
If you stick to this negativebelief, you will miss out on the beautiful opportunities for a relationship worthhaving. Instead of generalizing all relationships, try to learn from your pastrelationships. This does not mean to find ways to blame yourself for therelationship coming to an end, instead make it a moment in which you understandhow to have a stronger relationship in the future. Learning promotes self-growth,which is the second step in keeping faith for another chance. Once the time hascome, in which you took the effort to self-reflect, take the final initiativein surviving a break-up which is dating again. Remindyourself that you were able to survive on your own before you were ever in arelationship and that you will be able to continue to thrive on your own evenafter the relationship.
There are things that we do not want to happen, but have to accept;things we do not want to know, but have to learn; and a person we cannot livewithout, but have to let go. Relationships are like a glass, sometimes it isbetter to leave them broken than seeking to put it back together andpotentially hurting yourself. No matter how painful and heart-breaking abreak-up is, there is always a chance to start all over again, fresh andstronger. Never let a break-up get you down.